{"id":43002,"date":"2011-01-12T12:59:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-12T10:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.palmografos.com\/?p=43002"},"modified":"2011-01-12T12:59:00","modified_gmt":"2011-01-12T10:59:00","slug":"vivvo-8114","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/?p=43002","title":{"rendered":"The church ladies and their typewriters…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (no fooling).<\/span><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.<\/span><\/p>\n

The sermon this morning: \u2018Jesus Walks on the Water.\u2019 The sermon tonight: \u2018Searching for Jesus.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ladies, don\u2019t forget the rummage sale. It\u2019s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.<\/span><\/p>\n

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.\u00a0 Say \u2018Hell\u2019 to someone who doesn\u2019t care much about you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let worry kill you off \u2013 let the Church help.<\/span><\/p>\n

Miss Charlene Mason sang \u2018I Will Not Pass This Way Again,\u2019 giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.<\/span><\/p>\n

For those of you who have children and don\u2019t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.\u00a0 They need all the help they can get.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: \u2018Break Forth Into Joy.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October \u00a024th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be \u2018What Is Hell?\u2019 Come early and listen to our choir practice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<\/span><\/p>\n

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.<\/span><\/p>\n

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.<\/span><\/p>\n

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM \u2013 Prayer and medication to follow.<\/span><\/p>\n

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.\u00a0 They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<\/span><\/p>\n

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.\u00a0 Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.<\/span><\/p>\n

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<\/span><\/p>\n

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.<\/span><\/p>\n

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare\u2019s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.\u00a0 Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Associate Minister unveiled the church\u2019s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: \u2018I Upped My Pledge \u2013 Up Yours\u2019)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0391\u03c0\u03bf\u03c3\u03c4\u03bf\u03bb\u03ae: \u0391\u03bd\u03b1\u03c3\u03c4\u03b1\u03c3\u03af\u03b1 \u0399\u03c9\u03b1\u03bd\u03bd\u03af\u03b4\u03bf\u03c5<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (no fooling). \u00a0 The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: \u2018Jesus Walks on the Water.\u2019 The sermon tonight: \u2018Searching for Jesus.\u2019 Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":75908,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[2597],"class_list":["post-43002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vivvo-category-34","tag-humour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43002"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":134691,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43002\/revisions\/134691"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/75908"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.palmografos.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}